Oh my....

I have a problem. 
Apparently  my body has been taken over by some indecisive fickle alien - because, it is completely out of character for me to flip flop this way!


I filed the demo permit last Friday - and the city was on schedule to have all of the utilities removed from the house , "in about two weeks"


Well - unfortunately for me, in this case, the city was  uncharacteristically efficient. 


Everything was done by Monday morning.
Normally this would be good news, but... 
Sunday evening the final numbers came in from the builder. Here's a surprise....they were much higher than I expected.
Although his prices were very reasonable, for what he was offering, it would still price the little house well above anything on the block.


I have to take a step back.


This has to be a practical decision - made with my head, not with my heart.
All of the benefit of moving to the little house will be lost if I add financial stress to my family.


So....here I go....flip flopping again.


I have to admit - I am embarrassed.
I pride myself on my strong opinions, my ability to weigh all sides before making a choice, my clear head. Yet, here I am floundering every which way when it comes to this house.


Uh oh - I hope this is not what the new 40 year old me is going to be like! 
I liked the old 39 year old version better. (That might be an exaggeration - but I know I liked the 16-36 year old version!)


In an effort to keep moving forward - I am meeting this morning with a representative from the city assessors office. Whether we tear down - or renovate, I want to apply for the rehab tax abatement program.  This would give a more accurate current value of the home, and freeze that assessment for 7 years. It's transferrable - so even if I sell, the benefit will remain with the house.


Hopefully - if I keep moving forward, this project will unfold - and the answer will be clear.


Fingers crossed!